...The time has come....

I can only imagine what my friend Hannah thought when she walked into my house last night to find my panniers emptied, my clothes and bike gear strewn all over my living room, and me sitting in the hallway, with my dogs jumping all around me, crying my eyes out. I was having a serious melt down.

Im gonna back up a little bit and tell you about the amazing journey I have been on already, which makes me so incredibly excited to start this next phase of the journey. In November I came across a small add in a magazine that I had never read before, for Blood:water. I was intrigued and couldnt shake it. I looked online and was hooked. I tried to just shake it off, but that was not going to happen, so just decided to apply for ride;well, not really thinking anything would come of it....i was wrong. Within one day I had an interview and that next day I was accepted to the team. It still felt very surreal to me and David (my fiance) and I continued to struggle in prayer over what this meant for me, for my job, for our plans, and for us. There was alot that I had no clue how it was going to come together. Look at what God has done....

• First fundraising, Im terrible at asking people for anything, much less money....I met my goal through the most unlikely of sources, ususally at the last minute someone would just give me the exact amount i needed...more on that later.

• In the winter I wanted to start training but couldnt find a stationary bike that i could afford...One was just given to me.

• I had no money to buy a bike...The exact bike i needed was donated to me by a complete stranger.

• I had no idea what i was doing...Three guys at the local bike shop took me other under their wings, trained me, taught me, pushed me, bought me coffee, pulled me out of bed at 5am to ride, gave me countless discounts on gear, never charged me to service my bike, took me on more rides than i can count, and became a huge supporter of blood:water in the process.

• I had a good amount of people who emailed me after finding out what i was doing, that told me that I was being unwise for doing this....who have since, through conversations of faith and the moving of the spirit come to fully support me and my decision to do this.

• The health issues i was incredibly concerned about...have ceased to be issues and I passed my physical for the ride....that to me was a miracle. As most of you know, i have struggled with cluster migraines that cause my blood pressure to drop dangerously low, which causes me to faint and have what looks like a mild seizure (my bodies attempt at uping my blood pressure) but since training, I have not had one...and i was having 2-3 of these episodes a month. I also was concered about a hernia...which has ceased to be an issue....God is the great physician.

• I had no clue what i was going to do with my two dogs over the summer because my fiance will be gone for most of the summer as well....and i went to a womens bible study that i had never been to before and met two college girls who needed a place to live and had been seeking God out in regards to that, starting the first week in june through the first week in august....and they had just been talking about how they wanted to get dogs....so they will be living in my house, taking care of my dogs.

• I have had countless conversations about faith and following God despite fears and logic...with more people than i can count...God keep orchestrating these conversations to remind me, increase my faith and passion and spread the word of His provision and might.

These are just a few of the things that have happened...i could keep writing but i think this might be the longest first blog of all time....so sorry...im long winded....if you didnt know by now.
Anyways...I have struggled selfishly because i dont want to leave my amazing best friend/fiance, david. He is 100% behind me in this. I didnt necessarily want to lose my job over this, but I did, I was forced to resign. I know and believe God will provide...if anything, He has shown me that much! I still doubt my physical strength but probably more so because i have no idea what to expect. Aaaaand, I am not an organized person, so packing has been super stressful without David to do it haha. These are the things that caused my melt down last night....which Hannah was privileged to see. I was fearful. I allowed Satan to scare me through making me feel less than capable and so weak. He started tapping at my insecurities and I came face to face with feeling not good enough.

Hannah reminded me of Jonah, Job, Moses...and countless others who were called and didnt feel capable. I think the glorious thing is that, I am not capable...but God is. God in me is my strength. He is my power and my joy in all circumstances. And most of all, it isnt about me at all. Its about kingdom work. Its about His will, His justice, His provision, His work and His word. I feel honored that He has put this before me, to interceed in this way for my brothers and sisters in Africa. To put aside my fears and worries and put on a different burden, one that is not my necessarily my own, but one that we all need to carry.

Isaiah 61:1-3
The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me,
because the LORD has anointed me
to preach good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners,

² to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor
and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,

³ and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of gladness
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the LORD
for the display of his splendor.

This is what I long to be. It is going to be an amazing journey....it already has been. Im super excited to get started on this next leg of it! I leave in 3 days. Im so ready to meet everyone and get rockin up the coast. Sorry this one was super long, stick with me though...it'll be fun :)

Live mighty and righteously.