remembering our motto: just keep pedaling, then take breaks.

A couple of days ago, I had a dream that I was back on my bicycle, riding up a giant hill. I don't often remember my dreams anymore, and I am not really one to say that dreams mean certain things (not that they never have meant anything... hello, Bible!... anyways) but this dream keeps coming back to me. The next day, I was sitting with my parents and boyfriend at dinner and memories of my cross-country cycling trip started flooding in. Memories of the tight roads, the non-existent bike lanes, the pains in my legs, the awesome 2 mile downhills after the gruesome 5 mile uphills... I told a few stories, and was so encouraged.

The day after that, I was packing for my 3-week trip to New England, and was really scared. Scared of being alone, scared of starting a new job, just really scared. I had no expectations before leaving - good or bad - so the fear was intensified. I realized, though, that this was another journey.

I'm out here now, and it's weird. I feel very alone. But this is like my cycling trip. I'm on the bike and I'm climbing a hill. There will be no immediate wins, because chances are I will climb a 5  mile incline, and only get to ride 2 miles down. I don't know what to expect around the next corner. And yet, the thrill of it, the rewards of trusting and having faith in life - in the blessings, in my capabilities, in my support networks - are better things to focus on than the anxiety of being in solitude, in the challenges.

Here's an excerpt from one of my blogs from the Ride:Well Tour site, dated June 21st, 2010:

But I really believe that the most important thing I can do in this situation is trust the Lord and trust myself and trust the team. It is so difficult to do because the world tells you that you need to have control over your life and you need to work really hard to get everything just right in your life, but life doesn't work that way! It has been a huge lesson to release control, but I'm starting to yearn for the flexibility and the feeling of trusting God. Like what I wrote in my last blog, about being last - everyday that I have been last, I have had a good attitude. The days where I have tried to be at the front all day have been the worst. And I think it has to do with the pressure I put on myself to be at the front and to be the best and so on. Submitting to being last and submitting to helping people and thinking of others first has been so much more rewarding.

 If I needed encouragement tonight after my first day at my new job, these are it. If I needed a resolution to add to my 2011 "will do" list, these are it.

Submit to being last. Help people. Trust the Lord, trust myself, and trust the team.

So I'm not going to mope while I'm out here. I'm going to, as my Ride:Well team would say, "Just keep pedaling, then take breaks." Climb that hill, push forward, trust my team to help me in the unknowns, and enjoy the wind in my hair.

Man, I've gotta get back on the bike.