Now that we are two and a half weeks into the Ride:Well Tour... wait... tomorrow is our three week-a-versary... ok, so now that we are three weeks into the Ride:Well Tour, I feel like I need to re-orient myself. We are closer now as a team, more like a family. We are encountering more conflicts in a different way, bike issues and more injuries that are becoming less novel and more agitating as they persist. We are heading into new terrain, too, as we get out into northern California and the towns become less populated and more sparse. When I step into situations where I lose normal comforts, I may say that I am fine with it and speak to the notion that I think it is a valuable experience in a persons life that will help them grow, but when it really comes down to it, it really affects me mentally. Not having cell phone service or a comfortable home, for instance (even though I am
very grateful for the blessings we have from the churches that are opening their doors to us), it is so hard to think deeply or to find peace when I don't have the normal comforts of life. I think that a lot of us feel that way when we step out of our comfort zones and lose the things that make us feel at peace, things that are material. Spirituality and faith in Christ is the greatest provider of comfort and strength - Jesus is the Prince of Peace - but how often do we
really ask Jesus for peace and comfort? Do we have real need?
I think I have built this fort around my life out of cushions like cell phone and shampoo and clothing and certain people and coffee and aesthetics/atmosphere of homes/restaurants/church/towns and car and... I'm sure there's more. And I really like living with the cushions around me, although occasionally I step out without them if I'm nearly 100% convinced that I'll be okay without them. My life story includes several episodes of tragedy or trauma, and the cushion-fort I've created helps me feel more stable. But the Ride:Well Tour is an experience where I have personally and intentionally thrown out all the comforts, and stepped into a new lifestyle. I don't always have cell phone service and the ability to contact my loved ones, I don't always have a shower, I have to wear sweaty clothes for at least eight hours a day, I am always tired and sore, and I am in a new town with a new bed/floor every night. Oh yeah, and I ride my bicycle for eight hours a day, over hills and mountains, and it's hard. For someone who has anxiety problems, this is a recipe for an anxiety attack.
The hard times bring out insecurities and weaknesses. This is what James and Paul and Peter were talking about when they talked about how our challenges and trials refine our faith, strengthens our character and gives us hope. This has been my greatest life-challenge to date, and as the days and mileage and hills get longer, more of my weaknesses are being refined. As Paul suggests, though, I am trying my best to count it as a joy because of what it is doing to my spirit. I am being refined.
As we enter our third week and I reflect on these challenges, I need to be re-oriented. The novelty of this trip has worn off. This doesn't seem like a short vacation anymore. This is my life for 6 weeks. This is a mission that I must complete. I am being refined (as Venture Expeditions says, I am discovering my soul) but I am also riding for Marsabit, Kenya. For men, women, and children, just like my family and friends, who are being empowered to be leaders in their community as they work to gain resources like clean water and medical facilities. I want to do more to speak of this cause.
I want to see God do amazing things. Which is why I am on this trip. I want to see my story change dynamically, as I face my fears. What about you?
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