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Movies
The southern tour went to a movie last night. The A-Team. It was great to just sit down, relax, and watch stuff get blown up.
I'm a movie person. When I say I'm a movie person, I mean that when I watch a movie I get so engrossed in it that for a brief moment I forget where I am. It's as if my life goes on pause and all my attention is focused on the characters in the movie.
It sounds silly, but I used to think that real life was supposed to be similar to what you see in the movies. Not so much the action movies or sci-fi movies, but the feel good movies...the one's where families and friends resolve their differences, people achieve their dreams, and the guy and girl always find each other. Granted, these things do happen in real life, there's just never any touch background music playing.
When I was in high school I had a huge crush on a girl in the grade below me. She was a bit more popular than I was, had more friends than I had, and seemed to be more confident than me. We were friends, but not really that close.
I remember liking her for so long and trying everything I could to gain her attention, but nothing seemed to work. One night, after watching a movie with some friends, I decided I had had enough. I was going to tell her exactly how I felt. So I had one of my buddies drive with me over to her house where she was hanging out with some friends.
I was so nervous and scared. I had no idea what I was going to say or do, and up to that point I had never felt so alive.
I walked in the door, barely able to breathe. She was sitting on the couch with her friends. I asked her if we could talk outside for a minute. As we were walking out, my buddy told me good luck and I could sense the curiousity of the people in the room growing.
For some strange reason, I thought it would work out just like in the movies. I thought that if I confessed my undying love for her, get a bit misty-eyed, and make her laugh that she would just fall into my arms.
So I told her.
And then...
Nothing.
There was no romantic music in the background. She didn't laugh. She didn't get misty-eyed. Not even an "I just want to be friends".
Nothing.
Then a strange thing happened. As she walked back in her house and I stood in her driveway, I realized that even as I was experiencing the most pain and rejection I had ever experienced, I still felt alive. I felt more passion in my heart than ever before. Not necessarily for her, but for life in general.
I didn't even focus on the fact that I had just been figuratively kicked in the crotch, but that I had just chased after my first dream. Yeah, it sucked that she shot me down, but the pursuit of the dream brought on such energy, passion, and meaning that it changed my life.
From that moment on, I never held back. If I wanted something, I went for it. If I like somebody, I told them. If my friends needed help or encouragement, I was there for them. Things didn't always work out liked I had hoped they would, but it wasn't because I didn't try.
Living in this community, this family of 17 vagabond cyclists has reinforced the belief that God has given us each a unique gift to share with the world. The more we are open to letting God use our gifts in the communities we live in, the more we bring each other closer to Him. And the more we bring each other closer to Him, the more He reveals His grace and mercy to us.
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Comment
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Comment by Jesse Olson on June 26, 2010 at 10:00pm -
I think thats how you develop balls of steal, figuratively.
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Comment by Ian Pietz on June 23, 2010 at 5:38pm -
wow. great story man.
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Comment by Karl Feller on June 22, 2010 at 10:54pm -
Great word man! Jeremiah 29:11!
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Comment by redheadkate on June 22, 2010 at 9:07am -
I love how you write. But more importantly, I appreciate what you were writing about. Thanks for sharing this.
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