where in the world is my pink seated fuji?!

first of all, to reiderate the text i sent to my teammates today, happy monthiversary of riding into the atlantic ocean. today marks a month and i cannot even believe that. life has changed so much since then. not only life, but me. i have gone through a lot, trying to learn whatever it is that i think im supposed to be learning. trying to stay on track with God, but always falling short of who He has created me to be by making mistakes i cant take back. but i know they all happened for a reason. i know God has and will use them for the good. I know that this road trip i just got done with was a necessity; every part of it really.

before this trip i was conscience that i was being refined. i knew God was sifting me for something. then the trip fell upon me; such an unlikely trip for me. a girl who didnt like biking, or any sport really. then here i am one month out, able to say that i rode my bike across america, not by my own strength by any means, not perfectly or efficiently by any means, but through the strength of God with the help of His people, my team. i found myself riding my bike across places i never thought i would go to, let alone ride across on a bicycle. i found myself being stretched beyond any limits that i had before, pushed over walls i had built up; it all came crashing down. but not at once. it has been a gradual crash. like the refinement has continued, and will keep happening as i grow closer to God in a more real way. i cant go back now. im here, in riverside, without my bike, and without my team. but with the love of Christ; which i am learning is what i need to cling to.

the loss of my bike (which im praying and hoping will still be found, and asking you to join me in this effort), and and some of the things i encountered on my road trip, have opened my eyes to the fact that letting go means more than i thought it did before. when the bible calls us to let go of everything to follow Christ; to take up our crosses holding onto nothing but Him alone, it really means to let go of even the things that dont seem bad to hold on to like friends, moments, or a bicycle that means everything to you. why does my bike mean everything to me? i mean obviously it would; it represents so much in my life. and the ironic thing is that before the trip i couldnt even look at it, i didnt wan to ride it, and i assured all my friends that i would either be burning it, or throwing it in the atlantic ocean no matter what. now, i would swim to the bottom of the atlantic ocean to get it back; walk in a fire to pull it out; really i would do anything that i can to get it back; my bike; no other bike and no amount of money.

but the thing i think about then is, really? why does it mean more to me than anything else. it didnt carry me across america, Christ did. it just hurt my butt. it was an instrument that God used to show me how to find joy; how to love life; and how to be closer to Him..really closer, not just say i was. but the real power behind me, inside of me, around me, before me, behind me was God. He will never be lost. UPS can lose big things apparently, but they cant lose God. and i can be far away from people i love a lot, but i can be as close as i choose to be to God who never leaves nor forsakes us (as the bible says in joshua). He is closer than any brother; and has given me the gift of friendship and fellowship with the most amazing people that exist im convinced; but He is there always. and He is the One who provided not only those friends (my teammates), but also my bike. i didnt pay for it. maybe i had it for a season, and even though it's not here tangibly, it can still represent a lot.

so i may not have my bike (but i still hope it's found, realllllly bad), i may not have my teammates close by, and i may have made decisions i regret, but God is bigger than my bike, and my teammates, and my decisions and He has already made me complete in Him. no matter what happens, or what i have done, or left undone, He has made complete.

i want to walk with Him closely. i want to be open to absorb the wisdom and knowledge He has already revealed and will continue to reveal to me through the events i was so blessed to be a part of this whole summer. i want to fall more in love with Him and receive His free gift of grace which is renewed every morning. i want to press on, and i want to live:well, love:well, and some day soon i wouldnt mind riding:well again.

so if you have seen a misplaced fuji bicycle in a cannondale box with a pink seat, and bright blue space ship shoes somewhere in the world i wouldnt mind if you let me know. if not, thanks for at least reading this long babbling post that i guess i just needed to type out. =]

love easy mac.